I was asked recently to share a little bit about myself; something I strongly dislike, mostly because I never really know what to say or what parts to “share” (especially these days since I’ve been on this new journey of discovering the woman I was created to be). I decided to start off by highlighting that I was an introvert, which had one of my colleagues taken aback completely (I took that as a good thing because in my mind, that meant I still had good interpersonal skills— at least, when the time called for it).
In truth though, that is who I am; an introvert (although sometimes, I may also be considered an ambivert, because after all, not all introverts are shy— or always shy, I should probably say), and there are also times when others would try to describe who they think I am and their word choice would be “shy”, but these two, although they may seem like the same, are very different. I’ve realised that quite often, some persons may use the two; introvert and shy, interchangeably thinking they are one and the same, but as they aren't, I wanted to dive into the two a little bit and share with you my dear friends and readers, the difference between them.
The major difference between being an introvert and being shy is that one prefers to be alone (or with a select few, which is usually a very small number), while the other doesn’t necessarily want to be alone, but finds it difficult or is afraid rather, to interact with others.
Introverts prefer to be by themselves, but they will interact with others when and if necessary. The thing about being social with introverts, is that it can be very draining, especially after having spent an extended period of time in a social setting. After a prolonged period of being around others, all they really want is some well-needed alone time, and fast; they need to be away from others, so that they’re able to recharge their emotional and mental batteries, and renew their energy levels— with the only exception of another “body” being a loved one. If you have an introverted friend, it is important to understand that expecting them to go from one social event/setting right into another could be very taxing, and they may not end up being the best “sport” at that moment; they may tend to get cranky or just very quiet/standoffish, coming across as a “buzz-kill” if not properly understood. The most crucial time for your introverted friend, is that alone time, especially after a social activity to allow them to unwind and reenergize themselves before they are expected to be around others and be sociable again.
A shy person on the other hand, wants to be around others and wants people around them, but it gets tricky when they’re required to be social; not because they don’t want to be, but they’re just naturally afraid to. They’re also usually more conscious of what they say or how it will be interpreted, how they act and if these actions will be well-received. In other words, shy persons tend to have a natural fear of negative evaluation and it is that fear that keeps them in the reserved window by the door, peering out with hands wrapped tightly around the doorknobs but thinking twice about turning it and ultimately stepping outside to join in on the action.
Another difference between an introvert and a shy person is that one cannot be helped while for the other, there is hope yet.
Coping with an introvert
For an introvert, there are no formulas or wands to wave for them to be magically more outgoing, because it’s just simply who they are (introversion is as much a part of a person as skin colour or hair). The best thing to do if you have an introverted friend or want to be friends with an introvert is to accept who they are and the limitations of their social energy. Allow them the time away they truly need, and be accepting of it. Don’t try to force them into social gatherings and around others you may be comfortable with— remember they prefer to keep their circles small and interactions at a minimum anyway, they may not gel so well with too many other people, this could be emotionally draining and may even cause stress and problems with self-esteem and confidence.
Overcoming shyness
For a shy person however, therapy sessions could help them overcome their shyness, or other friends may also offer aid by taking the first steps to include them in activities slowly, and helping to start them off with interactions with others. The more time they spend around and with others, the more they’ll be able to overcome the fear of interaction and over time, some may even forget just how shy they were, especially when the engagements are positive.
When we truly understand each other it makes it much easier to communicate and relate, helping the friendships blossom naturally and healthily. Take some time and get to know the people you hang out with or spend a lot of time around; what are their personalities? How are you similar, and in what ways are you different?
The more we understand about each other, the easier it is for us to love and care for one another. Challenge yourself to learn a little more about others, and genuinely try to understand them to help make them and yourself more comfortable. Your warmth may be just what a cold shoulder needs before the entire body freezes— in other words, no matter what the personality of another person is, just be kind to people, you never know what they’re going through, or feeling. Some of the saddest people are always wearing smiles, and some of the happiest people still don’t smile much— you never judge a book by its cover, but rather by its contents.
Until next time my dear friends and readers, live good, love God and all His children, encourage someone, and of course, big up yuhself!
:D
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