So, I’ve been going through a lot of motions lately, reflecting on various aspects of my life and the people in it. When my emotions run high, I tend to write a lot, and well, you can guess what that means. There are quite a few things I want to address—some may turn into life lessons that I hope you, my dear friends and readers, will learn from and apply, and others might just ruffle a few feathers. I call this the writer’s tea. So here we go:
The Birthday (Belated) Greeting
I’ve noticed a trend every year from literally anyone who sends a late birthday greeting. Anyone who knows me well knows I like correctness—not to show superiority, but because I’d prefer to teach people the right thing, hoping they learn, practice it, and even teach others if needed. Being a stickler for the proper use of the English language and best practices, I feel compelled to address these things as they arise. It’s always good to know the right (write) stuff—you can never go wrong. Ha! See what I did there?
Anyway, back to the late birthday greeting. When people wish someone a "Happy Birthday" after the day has passed, they often say "Happy Belated Birthday." While they mean well, this is not the correct way to wish someone a happy birthday after the date. The correct phrase is "Belated Happy Birthday." Here’s why:
The word "belated" means something that is coming or happening later than it should have. Therefore, saying "happy belated birthday" implies the person's birthday was delayed, which, of course, it wasn't. What is delayed is the greeting, not the birthday. So, the correct way to wish someone a happy birthday after the fact is "belated happy birthday!" Think about it, and you'll see what I mean. And just like that, you’ve learned a life lesson. You can thank me later 😊.
Invasive Questioning of People’s Life Choices
Next up, something quite annoying: when you make a life change and people’s first reaction is to ask, "why?" When people make any change in their lives, whether big or small, it’s usually for themselves, for whatever reason. If they wanted to share that reason with everyone, they would have done so on their own terms, much like I’m doing now. I find it quite insensitive and invasive to be asking such questions. If they wanted to share the details with you, they would have.
For example, I recently cut my hair off again (yes, again- not my first rodeo), and when I went out, familiar people who usually saw me with long hair would ask, "why did you cut your hair?" Of course, I have my reasons, and those who need to know, do know. But at the end of the day, the main point is that it’s MY hair. Everything else will make sense after that.
Grammatical Errors From Educators
Another major annoyance for me is seeing grammatical errors in published work, especially from educators. I’ve come across numerous letters and communications from teachers and even principals (posted by proud parents) that are riddled with grammatical errors. I’ve even seen a sign on the gate of an early childhood institution advertising student registration, and the grammar and presentation were atrocious.
Yes, we’re all humans, and we make mistakes—heck, my own book has some errors that I noticed after publication, and they make me cringe. But for an entire school, full of “educators,” to produce these errors and let such communication pass through many eyes before going mainstream is quite frightening. These are the schools we’re expected to enroll our children in? That’s a very scary thought for me. I’d be so nervous. Honestly, I’d feel better homeschooling my children because this cannot be the standard.
What’s worse is that some of these educators are so resistant to correction that they won’t accept any feedback. It’s really sad, but I wish them all the best. At this point, I could literally open my own learning center, or even volunteer to offer proofreading/copy editing services to these institutions/individuals. But, such is life.
Inconsiderate and Unsanitary Habits with Paper Towel Dispensers
This next one is something I’ve mentioned already in a previous post (Pet Peeves - In English and Life Generally, point #10 - by the way, if you haven't already, you should definitely check it out for more life lessons, and writing/English tips). Anyway, I feel inclined to bring this one up again. To the people who use their wet hands to touch the lever on the paper towel dispenser, whether in the washroom, kitchen area, or wherever, why do you do it? It’s literally so unsanitary! Not only for yourselves, but for others to come after you, too. It’s okay if you don’t care very much for your own health, but why be inconsiderate to others?
First, you wash your hands and then you touch this lever, already defeating the purpose of washing your hands in the first place, but to make matters worse, you leave it wet for someone else, unsuspecting, to come and touch it. With all due respect, that is extremely unhygienic, and just downright disgusting. Here’s something to consider: before you get those hands wet, why not pull a piece of paper towel down first? By the time you’ve washed, it’s easier to access, you can now, just tear a piece and move on with your day. Or, if that doesn’t work for you, or you simply forgot, why not use your elbow to operate the lever?
If you must touch the thing after you’ve washed, why not use another piece paper towel to dry and clean the now wet surface you’ve touched? So many options to consider, and yet, people are still out here living such carefree, inconsiderate lives. Come on folks, we really need to learn how to do and be better stewards of cleanliness.
Toxic People
Let’s talk about toxic people for a bit—those I don't welcome in my space and believe should be avoided by everyone. While there are many types of toxic individuals, I’ll focus on two for now.
First, those who’ve wronged me in some way and remain unbothered, unapologetic, and act as if nothing happened. I’m usually quite fearless, but these people scare me, and I stay as far away from them as I possibly can. There are two types of people in the world: those who forgive 100 times and those who walk away on the first offense. I am undoubtedly the latter. If you’ve fooled me once, you’ll never get another chance to fool me twice.
Let’s be clear: I will forgive and even pray for them, but that’s all they’ll ever get from me. Once you’ve disrespected me, I no longer want you in my life. You can’t dish out dirt and then expect everything to be fine. For me, that same dirt will bury our relationship, and you’ll become a stranger to me. When my mind and heart are made up, it’s a done deal—only God can change them afterward.
The second type is self-righteous people. OMG! I absolutely loathe them. There’s nothing worse than someone, especially a “Christian,” who acts as if they have the ultimate truth, can do no wrong, and have a “holier-than-thou” attitude. Remember, we are all born in sin and shaped in iniquity (Psalm 51:5). None of us are perfect, and while we strive to live righteously, we have no authority to judge others. Furthermore, no one can make comments on your relationship with God, that’s quite personal between you and your Father, and you’re the only ones who know what that is like.
Funny thing is, self-righteousness often stems from a lack of understanding. This also brings me to another type of people: baptized Christians who believe they are better or closer to God than an unbaptized Christian. News flash, saints! You don’t have to be immersed in water to be a Christian. Accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, repenting, and living your life according to God’s will, makes you a Christian. Water baptism is an outward demonstration of your faith, not a prerequisite for being a Christian (perhaps I'll go more in depth on this in another post).
The Truth About The Sabbath
In saving the best for last, let’s talk about the Sabbath and what it means to keep it holy. The fourth commandment instructs us to keep the Sabbath day holy (Exodus 20:8-11). However, the Pharisees and, unfortunately, even some Christians have been keeping it wrong, often turning it into, and inadvertently, having others view it as a burden.
In the New Testament, Jesus explained what we had misinterpreted about the Sabbath. He performed miracles (John 5:1-18) and allowed His disciples to pick grains of corn to eat when hungry (Matthew 12:1-8), among many other things, on the Sabbath. He emphasized that the Sabbath is for rest, restoration, and healing. It is for us to pause, focus on God and His word, and worship with willing hearts.
The true meaning of keeping the Sabbath holy is to remember God in everything we do on that day. As unavoidable things come up, we should keep God at the forefront of our thoughts and actions, find time to be still and quiet, and invite the Holy Spirit into our presence. And that, my friends and readers, is how you keep the Sabbath holy, whether you decide to go to church or not.
And there it is—my thoughts, annoyances, and some lessons. I hope you found this “writer’s tea” insightful, if not entertaining. Until next time, let’s all strive to be better, more understanding individuals.
Big up yuhself! :D
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